AM At The Movies: ‘Entourage’

Entourage
Starring: Adrian Grenier, Kevin Connelly, Jeremy Piven, Kevin Dillon and Jerry Ferrara
Directed by: Doug Ellin
Run Time: 104 minutes

This might end up being a very important movie.

For years, we’ve seen television shows transformed into feature films, either rebooted, retooled or straight up carried over like with Sex in the City. For the most part, they’ve been successful. They haven’t necessarily worked in terms of execution, but there haven’t been a ton of absolute bombs and nothing that had the potential to make studio execs sit back and think, “You know, maybe we should stop doing this?”

Entourage could be that movie.

If you loved the show and hated when Vince & Co. shut it down on HBO, you’re going to be in love with this film because it’s five episodes smashed together with a liberal helping of celebrities tossed in to make you go, “Hey! It’s (insert celebrity name here)!”

But if you’re not a dude-bro and you recognized that this show stuck around too long during its HBO life, don’t even consider giving this movie a look. That little voice in your head saying, “Maybe the time off allowed them to clean up some of the problems that always plagued the show” is trying to steer you towards disaster because they didn’t. They actually just picked up where the final couple seasons left off, save for Turtle having dropped a ton of weight.

Drama is still Drama. The boys still bust his balls all the time. Ari is still angry and egotistical and borderline intolerable and he’s shouting at the same people, plus Kid Cudi. Eric and Sloan are the Ross and Rachel of Entourage, except you don’t care about them nearly as much. Vince still doesn’t seem like the kind of actor/celebrity that would have legions of fans.

Seriously. He’s just another actor we’re being told is a superstar. He’s early career Shia LeBeouf without the potential.

There’s just nothing to this movie beyond the same forced storylines that dominated the final handful of seasons when the show was just looking for ways to keep the gang on television for a couple more seasons.

Four years after the HBO show ended, all these dudes are in the exact same place as when we left them. You’re saying one of them couldn’t have broken out and done his own thing? Drama still has to be a laughing stock and clinging to Vince’s coattails? Lloyd hasn’t just stopped talking to Ari by this point? Mrs. Ari hasn’t divorced his ass and set up someplace different?

And the new additions to the ensemble don’t add anything to the mix, other than getting to stare at a grown up, bearded Haley Joel Osment for a good 30-45 minutes thinking, “Who does he look like?” For the record, my take is a young Travis Tritt.

Save your money. Go see something else. Unless seeing Rob Gronkowski on the silver screen is going to make you yell, “GRONK! Nice!” and high five your fellow dude-bros.

E. Spencer Kyte

E. Spencer Kyte

E. Spencer Kyte is a freelance journalist based in Abbotsford, British Columbia, where he lives with his wife and dog. In addition to his work here, he writes about sports for Complex Canada and covers the UFC for various outlets. His mom also still tells him what to do on a regular basis, even though he’s nearly 40. He tweets from @spencerkyte.

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