‘Californication’ Season 7, Episode 5 Recap: Getting the Poison Out

Above: Levon, Nikki and Hank in Getting the Poison Out (Photo: Showtime)
Above: Levon, Nikki and Hank in Getting the Poison Out (Photo: Showtime)

This week’s episode serves one underlying purpose — it’s time to get Levon laid! This becomes Hank’s latest mission, as he knows that Levon just needs to calm down, get the monkey off his back and lose his virginity once and for all. I mean he is 21 after all.

The episode kicks off at the Santa Monica Cop office, where Rath tells Hank that he’s due to go on a date with Julia that night. He seeks Hank’s approval one last time, but Hank assures him that he’s fine with it. Rath then goes one step further and invites Levon into his office to ask his approval. Levon explains to Rath how he already knows, and how him and his mom share absolutely everything. The conversation goes creepy, very quickly.

Marcy is then giving a wax to a girl named Nikki who brings up her ex-husband Stu who was the one that referred Nikki to Marcy. Nikki goes on to say that Stu’s been a regular client of hers for a while now, and as it turns out, Nikki is actually a hooker that Stu has just been using to help ease the pain of his heartbreak over losing Marcy.

In the wake up Julia’s date night with Rath, Hank and Levon head out to a bar to have a couple drinks. Here they chat about Levon’s inability to get laid or converse smoothly with women. An attractive girl is sitting across the way, and Levon decides to give it a shot and chat her up, but very quickly fumbles over his words and loses her interest. The girl then recognizes Hank from the brief period when he acted as a college teacher, explaining how she remembers how he slept with all those women at the same time. This leads to Levon high-fiving Hank for his many, many female conquests.

Back in the world of Charlie Runkle, he’s tending to his new writer client Goldie, who’s having a bit of a mental breakdown at the Santa Monica Cop office. Runkle goes down to tend to her only to find her drunk and in hysterics. She then requests that Runkle join her for a drink. Later, Runkle and Goldie are in his car as he’s trying to drive her home safely, but not before she gives him a big hug while seated in the car and coughs up her lunch right in Runkle’s lap. Charlie keeps a brave face as he has his eyes on dollar signs, or at least a paycheck that can help keep him and wife from filing for bankruptcy.

Hank tells Marcy how he just wishes he could help Levon out and get him laid, which becomes the sole purpose of the episode. Marcy tells Hank how she had a hooker client earlier that day and she could call her up and use her for Levon. This immediately peaks Hank’s interest and they come up with the brilliant plan of secretly hiring a hooker so Levon can lose his virginity.

Later that evening, Nikki (the hooker) and her pimp (he prefers manager) arrive at Marcy and Runkle’s house, where they get a very inopportune drop-in from Karen. Who quickly catches onto what’s happening when she sees the brigade of sex toys being whipped out of the Nikki’s purse, also Levon walks into the room at that exact moment, which leads to all information coming out. Karen then tries to reason with Levon as to why he should not sleep with the girl who’s paid to, but instead, wait for a girl that he loves, or at least likes, a little bit. To everyone’s surprise (maybe not) Levon is totally stoked on the idea and loves his dad even more for throwing down the big bucks to help him get laid.

This whole scenario leads to another falling out with Hank and Karen when she tells him that she has absolutely no idea who he is anymore. Nonetheless, things carry on — Levon heads off with the hooker, ready to finally become a man (discluding his barmitzvah of course). Hank, Marcy, Karen, and the pimp then sit patiently in the living room while Levon and Nikki are in the room. But what ends up happening, Nikki comes out of the room calling for Hank and a little pep talk. Apparently Levon is suffering from the first-time jitters and isn’t able to go through with it. Karen storms off and reinstates how disappointed she is in Hank, while Hank goes into the room to see Levon. Both Hank and his son chat back and forth about what he’s doing, finally bringing Hank to say that he doesn’t think he should do it. Nikki then completely destroys that sentiment when she strips right in front of them. Levon kicks Hank out immediately and is ready to jump right back into action with vengeance.

Later Levon comes out of the room after having just lost his virginity. He walks into the living room where Hank is seated in the most casual, relaxed saunter by a young man who just alleviated a lot of pent of sexual anxiety and probably just got a whole lot lighter as well. This leads to a final bonding moment between father and son, where Levon thanks his dad for looking out for the best interest of “little” Levon, and the two guys sink bank into a nice moment together on the sofa.

Well, Hank and Levon are definitely starting to form a bit of a bromance, but what affect will their most recent antics have on Julia? Also, what will happen to Hank’s straining relationship with Karen after she just witnessed some of Hank’s most morally bankrupt behaviour to date? We’re almost halfway through the season and the questions are only getting more interesting.

Jamie Rea

Jamie Rea is a writer and web-entrepreneur based in Toronto. He specializes in writing about dating, relationships, lifestyle, entertainment, and culture. On top of his own blog creations The Brolog and Thoughts4Men, he also also heads up the writing team for the web-based Toronto company, Park Bench, as well as contributes regularly to the Thought Catalog based out of New York. His work has been published in various places such as vancitybuzz.com and theurbandater.com. You can follow along with his blogs – www.thebrolog.com and www.thoughts4men.com to read his stuff on a weekly basis.

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