‘Californication’ Season 7, Episode 6 Recap: Kickoff

(Photo: Showtime)
(Photo: Showtime)

It’s the kickoff party for the new season of Santa Monica Cop at Rath’s big mansion and things are bound to get a little wacky. From Rath’s reiteration that nobody can have sex in his pool, to Levon’s newfound sex drive for hookers, and Runkle’s moral crisis to finally get his finances back on track. All of which come out in fine fashion during the sixth episode of the season.

The episode begins in the Santa Monica Cop writer’s room, where the show’s star, Hashtag Black, rants to the writers during a table read. He’s unhappy about how his character is being written and demands that they stop writing him non-sensical cop jargon. Hank and Goldie are both bored listening to Hashtag ramble on. This leads to Hank coming out with his usual verbal diarrhea and tells Hashtag that he just crapped his pants. Rath introduces the two of them. Hashtag apparently has heard of Hank through Samurai, and the message that was passed on was that Hank “likes to stick his dick in places they don’t belong”. Hashtag then tells Hank that he’s going to make him his set b*tch. This leads to Rath breaking up the reading and telling everyone he’ll see them all tonight at his place for the kickoff party.  

Later that night, it’s the kickoff party for the new season of the show at Rath’s place. Hank arrives with Runkle, while Julia and Levon are following close behind them. They’re all very impressed by the massive mansion that Rath lives in. Maybe TV writers aren’t so bad after all? Hank and Julia have a moment walking into the house where Hank asks Julia about her date went with Rath. She goes on to say that she had a good time with him, and he was a perfect gentleman, but she wants a guy that will grab her and throw her around sometimes.

Inside the party, Hank runs into Stu where they talk about Nikki (the hooker) and Stu gives Hank props for helping his son lose his virginity. Again, Hank runs into the show’s star Hashtag Black, who tells Hank that he doesn’t like the way Rath his writing his character. He mentions Samurai again and tells Hank that he wants to work with him to write an action-comedy film. While Hank is flattered at the offer, he assures Hashtag that he is not funny enough to write a comedy. Hashtag then spots Julia ahead of him and can’t help but comment on how badly he would love to “murder that a**!” This leads Hank to interject that, that’s his baby momma he’s talking about. Still Hashtag goes back at it and says, “I’m going to turn that girl out!”

Levon approaches Hank and asks him to borrow some money so he can have another go with Nikki. Hank tells Levon that she’s too expensive and he needs to curb his hooker habit immediately. Charlie then has a conversation with Goldie where she continues to complain about Rath rewriting her stuff and she goes on about how much she hates him. Rath then walks in and plays nice with Goldie. He also tells Runkle that he better not be using his show to pawn off new clients.

Upstairs, Hank has a run-in with the female lead of the show, Amy, who tells Hank that she wants to go over some notes with him. Back in Runkle’s world downstairs, he talks with Stu who makes him a very lucrative financial offer. He tells him about how much he misses having sex with Marcy, then asks Charlie if he’d consider letting him have one last romp in the sack with Marcy for the not-too-shabby amount of one million dollars. Runkle definitely seems interested as Stu walks off and he’s left to deal with that carrot dangling in front of him. Back upstairs, Hank and Amy are smoking a joint while she complains about the show and that she’s only doing it for the money. She tells Hank that she’s read his work and thinks he’s a great writer. She also asks what a “real” writer is doing writing for TV. Hank says the same thing, “for the money”. Amy then goes on to say that she’s friends with Sasha Bingham (who played the lead in F*cking and Punching). She’s made well aware of Hank’s astute ability to give great head. This leads to Hank going down on Amy right then and there, just as Julia walks in.

Another conversation then comes out between Hank and Julia about the time they kissed, which leads to them dueling in an all-out tickle fight. Hashtag and Rath walk in right in the middle, which leads to both guys getting angry at Hank. But just as this happens, someone yells “people are f*cking in the pool!” Outisde in Rath’s pool, Levon and Nikki are going at it. Nikki tells everyone that Levon said Hank was going to cover it. This leads to a big blowout when Julia eventually finds out that Nikki is a hooker and Hank paid her to help Levon lose his virginity. Julia slaps Hank and runs off with Levon. Just as this happens, Goldie seems to lose it and goes off at Rath. She tells Charlie to come to her defense, which he does very reluctantly. Eventually Hashtag jumps in, Charlie gets fired by Goldie, then hit over the head with her bottle of alcohol.

Outside the party, Hank and Charlie hop in Hank’s car to go home. Charlie confesses to Hank about how broke he is and that he’s very close to doing something really stupid. He’s so broke he might not even be able to pay his rent next month. Hank tells Charlie that he’ll up Charlie’s payout to 20%. The episode concludes as they drive off from the party.

The kickoff episode was undoubtedly one of the funniest and most insane episodes of the season so far. It’ll be interesting to see what starts happening for Hank on the show as he’s being pressured in a million different directions to write for the lead’s characters. Also, what will happen with Hank’s relationship with Julia after she found out about Nikki “the hooker”? Will Runkle turn his wife into a prostitute and let Stu have a go with her for the price of one million? It’s all going to unfold next week. Same time. Same place. 

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Jamie Rea

Jamie Rea is a writer and web-entrepreneur based in Toronto. He specializes in writing about dating, relationships, lifestyle, entertainment, and culture. On top of his own blog creations The Brolog and Thoughts4Men, he also also heads up the writing team for the web-based Toronto company, Park Bench, as well as contributes regularly to the Thought Catalog based out of New York. His work has been published in various places such as vancitybuzz.com and theurbandater.com. You can follow along with his blogs – www.thebrolog.com and www.thoughts4men.com to read his stuff on a weekly basis.

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