Online Dating Tips Vol. 1: The Profile

Above: How to create a great online dating profile (Photo: PureSolution/Shutterstock)
Above: How to create a great online dating profile (Photo: PureSolution/Shutterstock)

In online dating, your profile is the first impression. It is the pitch you are sending out into the internet to attract the women you want to date. It is extremely easy to write people off on a dating site because of seemingly trivial things that litter bad online dating profiles. Even if you are a smart, interesting person worth knowing in real life, if your profile doesn’t portray that, you won’t get very far. So yeah, your profile is a little bit like your resume. You need to stand out in an array of other guys just like you at first click, spark interest, and also be honest about who you are, and what you are looking for. Here are some general tips on how to create an online dating profile that will get you past the passive browsing stage.

Be positive

No one wants to date someone who is constantly complaining. In your profile, you should be putting your best foot forward, not rattling off a list of your negative experiences with dating, and everything you don’t want in a girlfriend. Granted, you may not be interested in girls who are high maintenance, but find a way to say that in a positive way, for example “I like women who are laid back, and comfortable in their own skin”. Also, talk about yourself in an upbeat and confident want. You love horror movies, Japanese food, and live music. The things you enjoy doing, and are passionate about are the things that will help you make an initial connection with someone. Unless you want a relationship where the biggest thing you have in common is your mutual hatred of, well, everything.

Don’t dwell on your career/money too much

Your job is a huge part of your day-to-day life, and what you do for a living can often reveal certain aspects of your personality. But your online dating profile is not the place to list your most exciting career accomplishments. There will be lots of time to talk about that later. All women want to know is that you have a job, and you are an adult that can take care of yourself. How much money you make has no place on your profile either. If that is your biggest selling point, be prepared to find a lot of women who are only interested in one thing: how much money you will spend on them.

Show, don’t tell

Just like actions speak louder than words, giving specific examples of your interests will reveal more about you than simply saying “I like to travel.” Where have you been? What is it you like about traveling? Where do you still want to go? You want your profile to be unique, and specifics are what will stand out and give you a personality. Instead of listing a bunch of general information, choose a couple things that really show who you are, and focus on that. Also, don’t forget to include what kind of relationship you are looking for, because no woman wants to waste her time getting to know a guy who wants a friend with benefits, when she is looking for a long-term relationship.

Be concise

There is nothing worse than a long, drawn out profile that doesn’t really tell you anything other than the person doesn’t know how to edit. For a woman to read your entire 1500 word essay, your writing would have to be more enthralling than Gillian Flynn’s latest thriller. Women are busy, and they are probably skimming through profiles during their lunch break, or before bed. They are looking for something to catch their eye, so it’s about quality, not quantity, here. We don’t want your life story, just give us the highlights, or else what will we talk about later?

Choose the right photo

If you have a terrible photo, or worse, no photo at all, the chances we will even read your profile are slim. Sure, we may like surprises, but showing up to meet someone in person that looks nothing like we expected is not a good surprise. Choose a photo that is recent, and actually shows your face. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship, but confidence and personality are what we are really looking for. You don’t need to be an underwear model to get female attention. Keeping your looks hidden only adds more emphasis on them. Don’t make such a big deal out of what you look like, and neither will we.

Courtney Hardwick

Courtney Hardwick

Courtney Hardwick is a freelance writer based in Toronto. Her work has appeared on AmongMen.com, 29secrets.com, therichest.com, and ELLECanada.com.  When she isn’t writing about relationships, and the best TV shows and books you should really already know about, she is working on her novel. She hopes to have it published by 2025. You can follow her on Twitter @Courtooo.

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