The Odd Couple Reaches The Eyrie
Walking towards the gates of The Eyrie, Arya and The Hound have one of their typical conversations, picking at each other the way frenemies often do. The Hound fusses with his wound, Arya again says he should have let her burn it, and he calls it a flea bite… but there is no way this flea bite is catching this much mention without being an issue.
As they reach the gates, The Hound announces their arrival, saying he’s there to present Arya to her Aunt, only to find out Crazy Aunt Lysa died three days ago.
And Arya laughs… hard. It’s brilliant. All this time they’ve been plodding along to The Eyrie and the family The Hound was hoping would pay for her return is dead. Of course, they don’t know that her sister is inside with Littlefinger, but that’ll have to wait until next week.
Meanwhile, Back in Meereen…
Remember that Small Council meeting when Tywin & Co. were talking about Dany and The Hand of The King had lapdog Mace Tyrell write a little missive for Varys to send to Meereen?
Guess what arrived in Meereen?
Presented to Ser Barristan, the letter reveals that Friend Zone Jorah was relaying information about Dany back to King’s Landing in exchange for a pardon.
Rewind: if you’ll remember, Jorah lost his lordship before the show began for selling poachers into slavery to pay his debts. He was given a choice between death and The Wall, but selected secret Option 3: mercenary and eventually started riding with Dany when she and her brother got connected with the Dothraki.
And we’re back…
Dany calls him into her throne room to explain himself and Jonah doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He tries to plead with her but “The Mother of Dragons” is having none of it. She banishes him from Meereen, promising to toss his head in Slaver’s Bay if he’s still around in the morning.
Here’s the thing: Jorah’s right — this is exactly what Tywin Lannister wants. Dany may not be happy with what he’s done, but casting him out weakens her side. Not that sharing secrets about the young Queen you clearly love is a smart move, but Dany is compounding the issue by sending Jorah away.
This is… The Main Event of the Evening!
Before we get to the actual battle for Tyrion’s life, the accused and his brother share a moment in his cell, pondering a cousin’s beetle-crushing fetish and wondering what it’s called when you kill your nephew?
We never really get an answer to either before it’s time for The Mountain and “The Red Viper of Dorne” to throw down in front of the assembled masses with Tyrion’s head literally on the line.
Tyrion arrives to find Oberyn dressed without armour, sipping wine and promising his paramour and the man he’s fighting for that “Today is not the day I die. Out walks The Mountain, clad in armour, gigantic as he was last we saw him and the fight is on.
But this isn’t just a battle to determine Tyrion’s guilt or innocence — Oberyn wants vengeance for the rape and murder of his sister, Elia, and the death of her children. He promises The Mountain that he’ll make him confess before killing him and floats around the fighting area, avoiding damage and getting the best of his gargantuan foe.
Tywin and Cersei look like they’re going to be sick to their stomachs. Jaime isn’t sure how to respond, equal parts pleased his brother appears to be safe, but not exactly keen on pissing off Pops. Tyrion is pumped, as you’d expect.
With his Achilles slashed and a spear in his chest, Oberyn demands The Mountain confess before he dies… only The Mountain isn’t ready to die.
Instead, he snatches Oberyn by the throat, rolls over into top position, and literally crushes his skull while jamming his massive thumbs into Oberyn’s eye sockets.
An overhead shot shows the pool of blood collecting on the ground where Oberyn’s body and obliterated skull rest. It’s equal parts awful and awesome.
Everyone is in shock, with some pleased and others, like Tyrion, completely at a loss.
Tywin proclaims that the gods have spoken — Tyrion is to be beheaded.
Roll credits.
My Thoughts
Oberyn’s death was a grizzly bit of business, but I’ve come to expect gruesome scenes in this show, so I wasn’t too grossed out, though I can understand if others were. I had a sense this was coming too, since letting Tyrion live — or having Oberyn win, more correctly — wouldn’t further the story along as much as the outcome we received.
Now we’re wondering what happens next and I can’t wait to find out. My guess is that Jaime comes to his rescue, but we’ll have to see.
As for everything else, I think we covered it along the way.
Props to Sansa for abandoning the “good girl” routine, the impending Wilding/Night’s Watch battle should be fun, and Ramsay Bolton is one scary looking dude who is sure to display more sadistic tactics in the future.
Only two episodes left…
Until next week.
