Guys, We Need To Do Better

Guys, I feel like we’ve gotten lazy.

Exhibit A: Tinder

Gone are the days of going to a bar or house party or any other social gathering, striking up a conversation with a female that sparks your interest and seeing where the night leads. Sometimes you struck out. Sometimes you had to go on multiple dates. Sometimes that first meeting ended in the bedroom.

But you had to get out and make an attempt to make a connection because your other options were trolling Craigslist for “Casual Encounters” and texting that ex-girlfriend that still pines for you, which could turn into a Class 5 Clinger situation if you’re not careful.

Now, there’s an app for that and apparently guys are all about that Tinder action.

Exhibit B: Personal Grooming and Style

Listen, I’m not a shave every morning, put on a suit and tie guy (anymore); I work from home, carry a couple days of stubble at all times and rock jeans and a t-shirt more often than most.

That being said, there are two lines in the trailer for the new movie The Intern, which is going to be fairly predictable, that sum up my thoughts on this perfectly. Watch below and see if you can pick them out:

Do you catch them?

The first is Robert DeNiro asking why no one tucks anything in any more and the second is Anne Hathaway’s mini-monologue about the downgrade in style over the last generation from suave bastards like Harrison Ford and Jack Nicholson to the trio of schlubs standing in front of her.

It’s a valid question. Casual Fridays have given way to Casual Everyday and what is considered casual has slid a long way from the “it means you don’t have to wear a tie” days. Now the idea of dressing up to go out is putting on “Your Good T-Shirt” and your favourite pair of sneakers.

Men, we can do better.

For starters, don’t be afraid to put on a button down shirt and tuck it in. And wear a belt. And make sure that belt works with your shoes. And you don’t always have to wear sneakers. Feel free to shave as well, especially if you can’t really do the whole “growing a beard thing” because nothing looks worse than a guy that can’t grow a competent beard maintaining show ugly facial hair in an attempt to make it work.

I speak from experience with that one.

Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself possible, not just the version that is easiest. Put a little effort into yourself and thank me later.

Get out and talk to women. Or men. Or both. Meet people. Build connections, don’t just swipe left or right or whatever the hell you do on any of these casual hook-up apps.

And don’t get on social media and run down the people you’re encountering on these hook-up apps if you do use them either. Don’t do that period. Be better than that.

As much as you may want to dismiss Hathaway’s speech in the above trailer, it’s fairly legit: we used to follow the lead of stylish gentlemen and lovable rogues that would command every room they walked into. Now we’re not even sure if we want to walk into a room.

We need to get that collective swagger back and we need to step our game up overall.

Those of you already keeping it crispy and cool – good job and keep doing you. Everybody else? Let’s stop being lazy and start doing better.

E. Spencer Kyte

E. Spencer Kyte

E. Spencer Kyte is a freelance journalist based in Abbotsford, British Columbia, where he lives with his wife and dog. In addition to his work here, he writes about sports for Complex Canada and covers the UFC for various outlets. His mom also still tells him what to do on a regular basis, even though he’s nearly 40. He tweets from @spencerkyte.

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