How To Let Her Down Gently

Above: Breaking up is hard to do (Photo: Peter Bernik/Shutterstock)

Sometimes a girl develops a crush on you, and even if you do give it a chance at first, you know pretty quick that you aren’t interested in a relationship with her. Whatever your reason is, there are moments when you think if you quit responding to her texts, calls, advances, completely, then she will just go away (admit it, you have pulled the fade out, at least once). But, there are those unique times that ignoring the problem will definitely not make it go away. Maybe she is a friend of a friend that you see at parties, or she is a co-worker that you might have to collaborate with in the future. Basically, you aren’t going to be able to avoid her forever, so why make things more awkward than they need to be? When attempting to let a girl down easy, use the golden rule and treat her how you’d want to be treated.

Don’t put it off

The longer you wait to break the news, the harder it is going to be for both of you. She might be falling madly in love with you, while you subtly try to ignore her interest. It’s like ripping off the bandaid all at once, or jumping into the pool before testing the water. Do it quick. You’ll feel better when it’s done.

Nip it in the bud

If you start to notice she is going out her way to be around you, or she is getting increasingly flirty, then you need to make sure she knows you aren’t interested. Sure, it might be hard to tell sometimes if a girl is flirting with you. But what you can control is how you act towards her. Keep it on a platonic level, and maybe she will get the hint before you even have to say anything.

Be clear and honest

Don’t be one of those guys that strings a girl along, just because you like the attention. Would you like it if a girl was laughing behind your back with her friends? Didn’t think so. Remember, if you think it would be awkward to try dating, then the aftermath of a casual hookup with someone you aren’t really interested in will be even worse.

Be nice

So, you don’t like her in that way. No need to embarrass the poor girl. If it comes to the point that you need to say something, then make it a quick and painless, “hey, I think you’re great, but I think we’re better as friends/coworkers/casual acquaintances.” No one likes being rejected, so don’t make it into a big deal, and neither will she.

Don’t dwell on it

Unless this girl has the best sense of humor ever, she probably won’t appreciate you cracking jokes about how “she used to be so obsessed with you”. Give her some space to process that you two won’t be happening, and then pick back up where you left off. If you act awkward around her, she is going to feel even worse, because she ruined what relationship you had in the first place.

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