Oh Yeah — These Guys
Melisandre is taking a bath when Stannis’ wife walks in. The Red Woman tells her most of her magical powers are a hoax, tricks that lead men to the truth. Queen Selyse has a little “No, really, it’s okay that you slept with my husband. It’s cool” moment, and then suggests that when the group departs from Dragonstone, they leave little Princess Shireen — she of the disfigured face and heretical ideas (her mother’s words, not mine) — at home.
Melisandre shoots it down, saying they need to bring her when they go on their little sea voyage, and the two peer into the fire together without letting us know where they’re sailing.
Vengeance
Prince Oberyn becomes the third guest in Tyrion’s cell and he details the time they first met, when Tyrion was just a baby.
Oberyn explains they heard stories of the horrible monster that was just born to Tywin Lannister — claws, one red eye, etc. — and how Cersei hated him from Day One. The Prince of Dorne recalls that she was hoping Tyrion would die from Day One. But Oberyn never saw a monster — just a baby with a larger than normal head, shorter appendages and something else that Cersei apparently grabbed and twisted… OUCH!
Tyrion looks like he’s been punched in the gut — again — when he hears that his big sister has been hoping for his death from the outset. “It’s rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters,” says Oberyn, who is about to move from the periphery to the forefront.
You see, Cersei appointing The Mountain gives Oberyn a chance to start in on his own “I will be avenged!” list, as Gregor Clegane is the man responsible for the death of his niece and nephew, plus the rape and murder of his sister. Oberyn pledges to be Tyrion’s champion.
For the record: this performance from Oberyn was every bit as good as Tyrion’s the week before. Yes, I have a man-crush on Prince Oberyn.
This is Why You Keep the Moon Door Closed
Sansa plays in the snow at The Eyrie, building a Winterfell replica, only to have her spoiled and coddled cousin/future husband Robin come along and wreck it. Sansa gives him a much deserved slap for being a complete brat, and as Robin runs off, Littlefinger enters the scene.
Let’s be honest: Littlefinger is a creeper — always has been, always will be and he’s had his eye on Sansa from Jump Street since she reminds him of her mother, whom he loved a great deal.
Sansa asks Littlefinger why he killed Joffrey, and he basically says he did it out of love for her mother. “And hey, if things had played out differently, you could have been my daughter” he more or less tells her. But she isn’t and that appears to be even better as far as Littlefinger is concerned because he drops a “Call me Petyr” and kisses her.
Gross!
And oh great, Crazy Aunt Lysa (that’s her official name) was watching too. Wicked. This is going to end well.
CAL calls Sansa into the main chamber, where she’s staring out the open Moon Door. Sansa apologizes for giving Robin a cuff, but she doesn’t care about that — she’s pissed that her whore of a niece kissed her husband because no one — not her sister, not anyone — has ever or could ever love Littlefinger like she does.
Just as she grabs Sansa and holds her to the edge, Littlefinger enters to console his crazy-ass wife. She cries. They hug. Sansa is scared out of her mind.
When Lysa stands, Littlefinger looks her in the eyes earnestly and says, “I have only loved one woman. Only one my entire life.” Just as Crazy Aunt Lysa starts to smile, Littlefinger adds, “Your sister” and shoves her through the Moon Door.
Roll credits!
My Thoughts
For starters, this is why you don’t have Moon Doors.
A lot happened this episode and I think most of it will be resolved before this season ends.
There is no way that tender moment between Arya and The Hound happened without a payoff coming, and you know Oberyn and The Mountain will throw down over Tyrion’s life soon. We’ll also witness “The Battle at The Wall” between the Night’s Watch and The Wildlings as well.
While previous seasons have built to one big moment, typically in Episode Nine, before cooling in the finale, we’re in for an impressive finish to Season 4… beginning in two weeks when the show returns following the Memorial Day break.
In it’s place next week on HBO is The Normal Heart, a film about the AIDS epidemic in the gay community back in the early ‘80s. It stars Mark Ruffalo, Jim Parsons, and Julia Roberts, and looks damn good.
See you in two weeks, Gamers!
