Are You A Player Or A Gentleman?

(Photo: Shutterstock/Everett Collection)
(Photo: Shutterstock/Everett Collection)

Are you a player or are you a gentleman? It’s the contemporary battle between good and evil. While sometimes the two are separated by obvious differences, there are other times where the differences are much more subtle. So in order to clarify what it really is that separates these two men, we’ve broken down the actions that define these two archetypes of a man to help you figure out who you are, and who you want to become.

The Player Vs. The Gentleman

A player sees women in quantitative value. For him, whoever has the highest number wins.
A gentleman sees women in qualitative value. For him, whoever has the best girl wins.

A player is the ultra competitor. He would gladly throw his friend under the bus if it meant an opportunity to ride shotgun next to the beautiful girl.
A gentleman proves that there is such thing as a guy code, and he knows that attractive women are everywhere, but close friends are few and far between.

A player is good at getting girls, but not good at keeping them.
A gentleman often keeps the girls he gets.

Players court girls just to sleep with them and are hard to read because there’s often a disconnect between their actions and intentions.
Gentlemen only court girls they could see themselves dating and are easy to read because there’s perfect synergy between how they feel and how they act.

A player is careless with a girl’s emotions.
A gentleman is very aware of both his and her emotions. He’s an expert at emotional responsibility.

A player is an artist of deception, a true chameleon, able to bend and mold his personality to fit the girl and the situation.
A gentleman is unable to be anything but authentic.

A player uses games to get girls because he knows his true identity is his greatest fault.
A gentleman never plays games because he knows that his true identity is his greatest asset.

A player is weak with little to no willpower, his morality always trumped by the novelty and excitement of new female opportunities.
A gentleman excels in his willpower and never lets his sexual desires overpower his morality.

Players continue to sleep with girls they don’t care about.
Gentlemen aren’t necessarily privy to one-night stands, but they don’t continue to sleep with girls that like them, knowing they don’t feel the same way.

A player only shows his integrity as a man when he has an audience.
A gentleman holds his integrity as a man when there’s nobody around to judge him but himself.

A player has a hard time just being friends with girls because he takes it as a shot to his ego if he’s hanging out with someone but not hooking up with them.
A gentleman has lots of girl friends because he’s able to see them for the people they are, as more than just sexual objects.

A player is the guy her friends hate.
A gentleman is the guy her friends love.

A player makes her feel insecure and unworthy.
A gentleman makes her feel secure and beautiful by instilling her with confidence.

A player is good for a night.
A gentleman is good for a lifetime.

A player is a boy.
A gentleman is a man.

So now that you have a little more insight into which category you fall into you, it’s up to you to decide where you want to go from here. If you’re a proud gentleman, keep holding yourself to the high standard you live by and don’t change; you’re a model of what all guys should strive to be like and who women should strive to be with. And for those that fall into the player category, it’s up to you to decide if that’s the role you want to continue playing. It’s also important to understand that no man’s identity is set in stone, players can transform themselves into better men and become gentlemen, while the gentleman can falter and change for the worse, and become players.

The player vs. the gentlemen, it’s a fine line that separates these two. But hopefully now you have a better understanding as to who you are, and who you might want to become.

Jamie Rea

Jamie Rea is a writer and web-entrepreneur based in Toronto. He specializes in writing about dating, relationships, lifestyle, entertainment, and culture. On top of his own blog creations The Brolog and Thoughts4Men, he also also heads up the writing team for the web-based Toronto company, Park Bench, as well as contributes regularly to the Thought Catalog based out of New York. His work has been published in various places such as vancitybuzz.com and theurbandater.com. You can follow along with his blogs – www.thebrolog.com and www.thoughts4men.com to read his stuff on a weekly basis.

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