Things are going great… good enough at least, until enough is enough and in huff it’s over. Some shed tears, others spit hate filled syllables, and everybody hurts. Break-ups aren’t easy, but they can be enlightening. What follows is the quest towards the why and how:
It all starts with the event itself. The instigator approaches with hesitation in their step, so the lead up is slow. However the action occurs in an instant. The instigator is left riddled with guilt, whilst their counterpart is punctured with pain. Things are tough all over once the twain is torn asunder.
You’ve lost your love and you’re fearful as to how you’ll fill the void. Amidst the denial, anger, and other flavours of failure remember that this too shall pass. Somehow, some way, the pain will subside. What it takes is time and in that time questions will arise:
What is wrong with me? Was I too much of something, or not enough of anything important? Were we truly in love, and if so why was that not enough? How will I live without her, and why is she not finding it as tough? Why me, why now, when will it ever end?!
It ends just like the relationship did, in an instant, and the lead up is similarly slow. Typically because that aforementioned void is filled with cheap advice and cheaper company, anything to ignore the inevitable. In other words: being honest with yourself and comfortable in your shoes. Take the blame that is yours, and let go of the shame that accompanies it. There is strength to be found in recognizing your short-comings, but to remain there strangles even the stalwart.
Be grateful for what you had, not distraught that it is over. Easier said than done, but considering that things are done witness the contrast. You now have a dark to distinguish the light, and like the day that ended so too shall this night.
Enveloped by the darkness it is hard to see the shell. It’s difficult to notice that what is binding you can be broken. Stand up, you’ve got to manage, you must stretch out strike. Crack through the confines you’ve created for yourself. Destroy the destructive emotions. Do this and see that from your shell you’ve burst forth into new life. Like the monarch witness how brilliant you’ve become. You’re no longer the creepy crawler dragging yourself along. You’re no longer that broken boy; you’re a man armed with experience and knowledge.
You know more about yourself because you lost something that was never yours to begin with. So in moving forward take the lessons you’ve learned along with you. Good days come with bad days, and both come to an end. Love is to be appreciated while you have it, not realized after it’s gone. And most importantly of all, the most difficult things to deal with bring you closer to enlightenment. So deal with them well and enjoy the wisdom that follows.