What Guys Don’t Get About Why Women Dig ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

Above: Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan star in 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'
Above: Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan star in 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last (looks at imaginary watch on wrist) six weeks, then you know Fifty Shades of Grey opened this past weekend. If you’re been near a television or the Internet, you know that the film adaptation of the first of E.L. James’ trio of erotica romance novels featuring the mysterious Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele made some serious bank these last three days.

While droves of people shuffled into darkened theatres to take in the Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson acting out James’ story on the screen over the Valentine’s Day weekend, many others – including some that probably still ended up ushered into a seat because they’re significant other declared they were going – wondered why in the hell so many people – primarily women – were so keen on watching the erotic tale play out in a room full of people in the first place?

It’s creepy! Y’all wanna get horny together in a theater?! WHY? You know the internet, right? They have this stuff called porn? They have this genre, BDSM? And you can enjoy in your living room without other strangers next to you getting aroused.”

A friend actually typed those words on Facebook in response to another friend admitting he didn’t understand the whole Fifty Shades phenomenon.

They are not alone.

There are plenty of guys that don’t get it and probably tons of women too, but there are also a ton of people that are way into everything E.L. James created in the first novel and the stacks of box office receipts that added up to a ridiculous $94.4 million dollars shows a lot of them were still interested enough to see how it translated to the screen.

Here’s the thing that particular friend and tons of other dudes just don’t seem to get: men and women have very different tastes in porn, both in terms of what they’re looking for and how they consume it.

Are there ladies that log onto Porn Hub and surf through videos to get off? Absolutely, but they’re not looking at the same things guys are. Porn Hub actually has a terrific blog that breaks down statistics and insights into traffic and literally broke down what women are looking for on the site compared to men and the lists are – as you should expect – extremely different.

It’s not just that men and women have different tastes when it comes to the porn they consume; it’s also that how they choose to consume the material can be drastically different as well.

While guys tend to jump right to the pictorials, lots of women actually prefer Penthouse Forum. They’d rather conjure up the scene in their mind as they read about physical acts than see the act taking place in some glossy, two-page layout. Crazy as that sounds to anyone that takes a “show me, don’t tell me” or “I want to see it, not hear about it” approach to getting turned on, some times reading about the naughty acts that take place behind closed doors or being told the lurid thoughts dancing through your head can be more appealing than seeing naked bodies in motion.

Seeing the film isn’t necessarily about getting turned on next to complete strangers either. Everyone has gone to the theatre to check out the film adaptation of a favourite book in the past, just to see how the characters were brought to life on screen, so why does it have to be different just because the subject matter is somewhat risque?

And if it is about seeing something that gets them feeling a little frisky in a room full of other people, what’s wrong with that? Most people like when their partners get excited and amorous, no?

Basically, it boils down to this: just because it makes zero sense and seems stupid to you, doesn’t mean it isn’t something that might get your significant other in the mood, so roll with it.

And try something they’re into once in a while too!

E. Spencer Kyte

E. Spencer Kyte is a freelance journalist based in Abbotsford, British Columbia, where he lives with his wife and dog. In addition to his work here, he writes about sports for Complex Canada and covers the UFC for various outlets. His mom also still tells him what to do on a regular basis, even though he’s nearly 40. He tweets from @spencerkyte.

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