How To Excel At Being Single

Dating is one of those expected parts of life like having a job and dealing with family obligations. When someone you haven’t talked to in awhile asks how you’re doing, they’re partly asking about your love life. Finding love is something everyone is supposed to want which is why there are entire reality shows that revolve around it. The Bachelor exists because people like to imagine a fairy tale love story that ends in happily ever after. But what if the thought of being in a relationship doesn’t make you want to double down on your “find The One” efforts? Whether you’re taking some time for yourself and putting dating on hold or you intend to be a bachelor forever, here’s a few tips for making the most of all that free time you have when you completely eliminate dating from your itinerary.

Set the record straight
The key to voluntary singledom is making sure your friends, family, co-workers, and nosy dental hygienists who think you’d be great for their niece, are well aware that you are single by choice. You aren’t desperately swiping through Tinder every night looking for a date. You aren’t pining after your last girlfriend wondering if you might be able to get her back, and you don’t need to “just meet the right girl in order to finally get serious”. You’re alone because you genuinely want to be alone and no well-intentioned set up is likely to change that any time soon. You don’t have to pretend to be dating because other people don’t understand your choice to be single. Don’t let anyone pressure you to be single and looking when all you want is to be single, full stop.

Give your platonic relationships some love
Some people think being able to maintain a healthy relationship is a huge part of having your shit together. But just because you choose not to be in a relationship, doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of it. Instead of focusing on romantic relationships, focus on your platonic ones. Spend more time with your parents, make a point to get to know some of your colleagues, plan more outings with your friends. Being single doesn’t have to be lonely if you have plenty of people you care about to call on whenever you need them.

Make self love a priority
People always say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else, but loving yourself shouldn’t be a means to an end. There are a lot of different facets to self love and self improvement. From grooming and fashion to fitness and your mental health, focusing on yourself can mean a lot of different things and definitely evolves over time. The reality is that relationships can be a lot of work. They can be emotionally draining at times and if it’s not something you really want in your life, it will end up feeling like an obligation. Not exactly a recipe for a happy relationship. By all means, spend your time becoming a better person, but don’t do it to make yourself more dateable—do it for yourself.

Be productive
Dating is time consuming, so if you’re not putting the effort into meeting people, getting to know them, planning dates, going on the dates, and then figuring out all the mixed signals and uncertainty than comes along with dating, you’ll find you have a lot more free time. Devote that time to going after some career goals, traveling, learning how to cook, reading more, and whatever other hobby you might have that would probably get brushed under the rug if you were in a relationship. Being single doesn’t have to mean passing the time by binge watching TV and going through the motions of life until you meet someone. You should enjoy your time alone and fill it with things you love because there’s nothing more pathetic than a single guy who doesn’t have much of a life. Your time is all yours, so find a way to use it wisely.

Courtney Hardwick

Courtney Hardwick

Courtney Hardwick is a freelance writer based in Toronto. Her work has appeared on AmongMen.com, 29secrets.com, therichest.com, and ELLECanada.com.  When she isn’t writing about relationships, and the best TV shows and books you should really already know about, she is working on her novel. She hopes to have it published by 2025. You can follow her on Twitter @Courtooo.

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