How about a resolution it’ll be a pleasure to work on accomplishing: Have sex more often. As much as we all want to get some action, work and life can often get in the way. How to follow through on upping your frequency of having sex? We checked in with Dr. Wendy Walsh, author of the book The 30-Day Love Detox, for her expert advice.
Put sex as an appointment in your calendar
“Isn’t being spontaneous better?” you ask. While you’ll be missing the element of spontaneity, scheduling when you’ll have sex regularly can help because everyone is busy, “and the bed often becomes a place to pass out rather than have hijinks,” says Dr. Walsh. You might say you’re never too busy for sex, but when you’re involving another person, coordinating sleep and work schedules around sex can get complicated, she says. “Scheduling it can allow for enough time for more than a quickie and a crash,” says Dr. Walsh, who notes that at the beginning we all had time for massages and baths when the relationship was new, but down the road, those bonding behaviours get lost.
Buy a sex toy
“Humans thrive on novelty. We get accustomed to anything — and bored by it — if it is repeated too often. That goes for having sex with the same partner in the same room in the same position,” says Dr. Walsh. One way to shake things up? Introduce a sexy toy. She suggests one such as We-Vibe 4, a new vibrator that couples use together, to add some novelty to your bedroom. You can also change things up in terms of location, time of day and clothing.
Help out around the house more
Basically, make your partner’s life easier. Say, you work a full-time job and she’s at home with the baby? Dr. Walsh swears that the best “mommy-porn” that’ll make her warm up to you is the sight of your loading the dishwasher or folding the laundry. “Give her less to do around the house and she’ll find more things to do in the bedroom,” she says.