How To Avoid The ‘Friend Zone’

Learn how to escape the 'friend zone' (Photo credit: Shutterstock)
Learn how to escape the 'friend zone' (Photo credit: Shutterstock)

We’ve all been there. Liking someone that doesn’t see you as more than a ‘friend’, a ‘brother-figure’. So now what? How do you break from the sidelines to be seen as someone more, a possible candidate for their affections? Here’s a couple quick tips on how to avoid the ‘friend-zone’:

Ask for what you want

What separates the ‘nice guy’ from the ‘man’ who gets the girl, is often as simple as asking for what you want. Don’t wait around for her to notice you, put yourself in the line of vision and give yourself the opportunity to make it known you are there. Inaction can send a signal to women that you just aren’t that interested and then, she starts thinking of you as ‘just a friend’.

Play a bit hard to get

There is a fine line between giving her attention and coming on too strong. Try to get to know her while keeping some of the mystery alive. Much like a first date, try sticking to your ‘greatest hits’- the stories that make her laugh, the interests you have in common, etc. Complement her, make her feel special, create inside jokes, and let that build to sexual chemistry that ultimately leads to romance. All this being said, try not to be too available. You have to give her space and time to miss you. This includes electronic contact too! So think twice before you tweet, facebook, instagram her when you’re in the early stages of getting to know one another.

Try to hang-out with her one-on-one

Try to avoid hanging out in groups. Getting to know each other one-on-one is more intimate and can lead to more romantic possibilities. While you’re spending time together, treat her like you would if you were on a date- open the door for her, let her walk on the inside of the street. These small, but gentleman-ly acts are respectful and quite a turn on.

Be honest and tell her how you feel

In case your earlier efforts were too subtle, this should hit home. Honesty is generally the best policy, but it can also put more pressure on things… romantically. So try to read the signs – which could include, her initiating hangouts, flirting, touching, or if she dresses up to see you. All of which are indicators that it might be worth the risk to tell her how you feel. Do remember that once you tell her, it is unlikely you can go back. If she was unaware of how you felt before she might pull away, or if she was aware of how you felt, she might have been avoiding this confrontation and hurting your feelings. On the other hand, she might have been feeling the same way and eager to take the next step with you.

Ask her for relationship advice

If you’ve told her the truth and things have not changed, it’s time to start dating other women. Ask her for relationship advice. Even though this is a tad manipulative, sometimes reverse psychology works. You know what they say- you never know a good thing till it’s gone. And who knows, you might discover that you weren’t as perfect for each other as you imagined, or she might begin to recognize you as more than a friend and someone that can be romantic.

Time to move on

If you have told her how you feel and it has not evolved your relationship, it might be time to move on. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who wants to be intimate with you, and be your best friend

Abby Ho

Abby Ho is in a serious relationship with culture, art, music, movies, and fashion. Writing about relationships, style, media, and pop culture is a fun hobby and passion! When she’s not working away for the television show Degrassi as the Director of Digital and Social Media you can always find her tuning into the Toronto entertainment pulse, well… or shopping.

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